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shalom1984
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Name: Elise
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Birthday: 8/8/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: sleeping
Expertise: talking
Occupation: Student
Industry: Textiles
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
1/22/2004
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| Lately I've been thinking...
Do people ever really change? How fast do people change? Is Bethel just full of bullshit? I kind of think it is. Not the institution, but the people. For example, you hear a juicy piece of gossip about how somebody slept with somebody on the basketball team, and then the next week the person is engaged to someone else, and lists the Bible as their favorite book on their Facebook profile. Is it all an act so Bethel will love them? If they went to a different school would they still list the Bible as their favorite book? Or would they have all their pictures up with them drinking it up in a bar? It's all very confusing. See, I don't care if people drink and have sex and do drugs. I think most people do at least one of the above. What I have a problem with is the pretending like they are saintly. I'm not saying to admit you drink (that would be dumb and you would get kicked out). But don't paint a picture of yourself pregnant as if it was the immaculate conception. Another thing I wonder about changing... Say you have a friend, who's virginity was taken one drunken night, only for the virginity-taker to completely change his spots, marry a Saint Plain Jane, and declare his life's mission to introduce Jesus to the entire world. Call me a bit skeptical, but he was an ass to my friend...and now he's Saint Stanislaus? I just have my doubts about the reality of his convictions. I guess i'm being entirely too judgmental here, and I'm sorry if i'm coming across horribly, I just wonder why people act this way. I truly think it's the institution of this school and the pressure it puts on you. The pressure to raise your hands during worship (unless you sit in the back). The pressure to not curse (except in front of your friends). The pressure to wait until you're married (unless no one's watching in the parking lot). Where is reality? By Bethel's standards, if we were all brutally honest with eachother, I think the only person who would live up to them is Stephanie Joy Coup (and i mean that as a compliment). The rest of us just suck, and probably shouldn't even be here. So, i don't know what to do with these thoughts, but i think we need to stop putting eachother up on pedestals and just live. If you and God haven't talked in a long time, don't pretend you're best buddies. Be real and stop trying to impress us. We DON'T CARE.
The end. | | |
| i see me in the future and i look much better than i look right now.
i am back. and i'm holding on for dear life. please oh please don't let this day be in vain. | | |
| i feel like i'm in a movie today. my life has become a romantic comedy my best friends wedding. my best guy friend is getting married in 6 days to a conniving bitch, and he is still in love with my best girl friend who he has been in love with for 10 years...half of our life. and i'm trying to make her realize that she is in love with him too, and it's rough. i wish people wouldn't get married when they weren't in love. so what to do? an intervention? kidnap the groom? we were on the phone for 2 hours last night, and i was the first person he has told that he doesn't want to get married to her. i feel so bad for him. i used to think i loved the kid, and seriously wrote tons of bad poetry about it. but now i just love him as a friend. and it kills me that he would rather get in a car accident and be mamed in order to call off the wedding than go through with it. that's not just pre-wedding jitters, people. what to do? i'll let you know how it works out. | | |
| someone told me recently not to worry about past loves, because they always come back. i assumed she meant that they come back to haunt you, but she clarified she meant that they always come back to give it another whirl...in any way that they can get away with. i didn't believe her until this week, when i realized that sometimes ex boyfriends get reincarnated. the other night i went out with a guy with the personality of dan holden in the body of jared katynski. that may not mean anything to you, but to me there were many red flags that went up. (nothing against dan, just not my type) i thought to myself..."wait a minute...i've dated you before." dating deja veu is a pretty common occurence for me, which should probably be a clue that i should change my type. i decided that this year i'm gonna go for the nerds and the geeks. i've heard they know how to treat a woman right, because they've never had one and don't want to do anything to lose her. also, i hear they're surprisingly good in bed ;) (don't freak out, i'm KIDDING). so when i found 2 exes try to re-enter my life in less than 24 hours, i started to believe my friends advice. if guys just recycle themselves, i guess i don't need to worry about how things end, because they're never really over. the men in my life either try to re-enter and claim that they've changed, or i find myself dating them re-incarnated into someone named joe, not dustin. so what is my motivation to truly end it? not to say that i haven't tried, but it's summer, and i'm lonely, and they're so easy! so here i am, thinking about how confused i was exactly one year ago. i was probably writing private xanga entries about how guys are so mysterious. now i know that they're not, but to tell the truth, i'd rather be confused than alone. you're thinking, "elise, there's more to life than the opposite sex." but as i aspire to write like my favorite columnit carrie bradshaw, i assure you that there isn't. and yes, i'm just that shallow. | | |
| so i've been back for over a month. un frickin believable. it's so weird. i try not to think about my trip, as weird as it sounds. i mean, it's over. and all i can do is think of how amazing it was. i can't wish it back. but i wish i could. i just went to yha.com/au or something like that, and looked at pics of pittwater. i miss it. funny, there were times in new zealand where i couldn't WAIT to get back home. i didn't know how i was gonna get through 3.5 months of trying to be someone i wasn't. sounds corny, but i am so glad that i figured out how to be myself. if i could have one wish, it would be that i would have looked at things differently when it came to making friends. i was so concerned with hanging out with the people i thought i would hang out with, that the people i really did hang out with; i didn't start hanging out with seriously until australia. and that was half of the trip! but, at least we got to know eachother. guys, (JEFF AND JARED) we wanna hang out, so hurry up and let's do something! me and tina are thinking ROAD TRIP. are you in? i'm serious. i'll plan it :) just come. it'll be funnnnnnn. i love you. | | |
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